She is backkk!!

Hello my sunflowers:) 

Wow I have been away from my blog for about a year and 4 months now. Wow a lot has happened within that year both good and bad. I lost friends, my relationship and I got new friends, I moved to another country, my relationship with God has gone from being down to being up. Wow just a lot ,however I will let you all in my life with time like I said it is A LOT for it all to be posted in one blog but I do think that my experiences will help someone who is going or had gone through the same things I been through.

First I want to be honest, I think everyone knew I was in a relationship but that is no longer there. Some things are just meant to be in your life for a season to teach you lessons ,to help you grow and to strengthen you as a person. So I just want to encourage anyone who is going through a bad break up. It's okay to be hurt and feel pain, we are human we have feelings. Pain is part of life and that was something difficult  for me to accept because I like to be perfect but life is not perfect. Also, pain is part of purpose ,we cannot step into bigger and better things if we have not experienced a little bit of pain. So yes I know it's hard if your going through a breakup. One of my closest friends said to me "Onthatile the pain will go away with time " and I felt so frustrated because I wanted it to go away like now.  But truth be told, time will make things better. You heal with time. The most important part of my healing was my relationship with God, I had to learn to lean on  God and trust him and know that he will give me double for my trouble and that he is counting every single tear. I had to understand that God wants what's best for me and unfortunately I had to go through the worst to understand who I really was in Christ as well as to have a better relationship with God.

But I am so thankful because I have learned a lot about myself, I have learned that I have flaws too that I need to work on and to be the woman, wife and mother God created me to be. I need to work on those flaws which again takes time. But it's okay ,it's not about the ending but it's about the process ,journey and enjoying the process. We all want to see ourselves married ,successful and working. One thing I realised I did was I wanted the ending so bad that I didn't enjoy the process which could be good or bad.

The other thing I have learned during this period of being away is ladies you need to know and understand your worth. It's easier said than done, when you really don't know WHO you are and WHO's you are,it's very simple to be manipulated and to compromise your values and yourself. Know that you are God's daughter, you are a Kings daughter, you are princess, you are God's previous jewel. How would you treat the queen of London? The same way treat yourself that way, YOU ARE WORTHY!!

So don't think anything is wrong with having standards and upholding those standards. And don't compromise what you stand for ,for somebody else. For example if you don't tolerate cheating ,don't compromise yourself and stay with the person if you don't believe in it. You are a WOMAN ,you are a giver of life,you bring life into the world and so don't compromise anything. Put yourself high up on a pedestal.

Another thing that I had to learn is that not everyone who "claims" to love you  really loves you. Some people honestly, are just friends with you just to put you down and to see you fail even partners. Do not tell anyone the important aspects of your life, keep those things to your family. Because remember family will always be there for you, family members are the most consistent and longest relationship you will ever have here on earth. One thing my mom always tells me is that " Onthatile I am your mother, I love you, there is no one on earth that is going to love you more than me, when you mess up in life I will always be here to hug you and accept you". I never understood that, I used to think she is crazy and that "my husband can love me more " hahaha what a joke my darling as my friend would say. Lol now that I am growing up I understand what my mother was saying and I fully get it now.

Family is very important, so as much as you have "best friends" and "bae's " be careful who you tell your business to because not everyone has good intentions for you. Some people in this life are just here to break you. So tell your most sacred business to your family.

Another thing I have learned is that it is okay to make mistakes. I think that was the hardest thing for me. I HATE MAKING MISTAKES!! I have a little brother who is 14 years old and I want him to look up to me as his sister, I don't want him to think I am crazy sister who is just rebellious. I want him to learn from my mistakes but also think I am the coolest sister ever!! And I had to learn that I am going to mistakes in life, I had to accept that. BUT here is the beauty about mistakes is that you can learn from them and do better. It's like being married and getting divorced, I can imagine how much it must suck to lose someone you thought was the love of your life but then the beauty about it is that you can correct all those mistakes and have a healthier and more beautiful relationship with the next partner. So I always have to keep telling myself, it is okay to make mistakes Onthatile!

That is it for now my sunflowers;) There is still a lot that I will let you all in, in time. But for now Have a wonderful week ahead. REMEMBER stay blessed, kind, honest and BEAUTIFUL!

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You can also send me an email if you have any questions at osekano@icloud.com


xoxo
Onthatile