Hello my sunflowers 🌻:)
Few weeks ago I was speaking about forgiveness and today we will continue the 2nd part of the series.
I spoke about how to forgive a friend that has hurt you. Today will be how to forgive a partner in a relationship 😱
That’s a hard one. This one is quite complex because ALOT of things can happen in a relationship.
But let's speak about the little things that happen in a relationship that can honestly turn the relationship into the worst.
What happens if your in a committed relationship with some one and perhaps they forget something very small but very important to you. For example, they forget
that today is my birthday, or forget a conversation that you once had that is important to you? For us females that is very hurtful isn’t it ?
So the question is how do you deal with it and how do you forgive your partner ?
The best way is honestly to feel your disappointment, feel the hurt or anger. Because if you hold it in you will let it out to the WRONG people who don’t even deserve it. Or you will let it out to your partner in the wrong way.
So first step is to feel the hurt and then maybe take time to cool off (this depends how your temper is,if your short tempered cooling off is advisable). Then after you have cooled off , find an appropriate time to sit your partner down, DO NOT vent out through social media or through a long text message because people do not read messages the same way or even the same tone .
So once you have found an appropriate time to talk, do not say “we need to talk “😂 when you say that you make someone build up a defence mechanism already. Even though they might not be in the wrong, they are already trying to build up a way to protect themselves.
Therefore just make sure your partner is not in a bad mood as well as the the correct timing and then you can sit them down and say “babe (or whatever you call your partner ) I felt really hurt (say how they made you feel) yesterday when you forgot it was my birthday ,it really hurt my feelings and made me feel that you don’t care enough about me or love me “ (say what it made you feel like ). I know that you care for me and I would like/love it that in future you remember such occasions because they mean a lot to me.
That way you are not blaming your partner and putting it all on them.
Now if you have a REAL spouse who cares about you and your feelings they will acknowledge that and apologise and ACT on his/her apology.
If you are with someone who says “your being dramatic ,demanding , always complaining” then my friend you are with the WRONG person. Also if your with someone and they say sorry but they don’t ACT on that apology, ☝🏽 that’s a 🚩
So how do you forgive him/her?
Every time you argue or have fights with your spouse you should not mention “and you never wished me a happy birthday “ because then you really haven’t forgiven them. Remember last time ,forgiveness means letting it GO!! And loving your spouse like as if they have never done anything in this case.
Forgiving them means not creating walls or being nasty towards them, because of that especially if they have asked for forgiveness.
Forgiveness also means that not reminding them of their wrong doings when they make a mistake.
Because once you start doing that , it’s not good for your relationship. It will make the other person feel like they are paying for the same mistake all the time. And to be honest that is annoying.
Honestly love is about forgiveness, you have to constantly forgive your spouse ,every single day. Like I said last time, forgiveness is loving someone purposely and someone hurting you and you choosing not to revenge them to hurt them back.
That’s it for now my sunflowers 🌻
We will continue with the next series about cheating next week.
REMEMBER to stay blessed, BEAUTIFUL, kind and honest
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Xoxo
Onthatile
